Expecting Excellence

So I was looking at an article today about a teacher (Natalie Munroe) who had supposedly stepped over the line and blogged about her experiences in teaching a high-school English class. Her blog's title is "Where are we going & why are we in this handbasket". The news articles and the comments I read were so nasty that I had to try and find the actual source material. As it turns out, the saying "nothing is as bad as it seems" seems to fit here. She didn't just curse all throughout, and there's no reason to doubt her sincerity and honesty. She seems genuinely interested in teaching and getting through to her students so I say - give her a break. You'll see that from her other blogs - especially the one on "honor". We all know kids many times fit these descriptions, and no names are ever mentioned, so laugh it off and leave it alone. Here's the actual entry that the kids and parents at CB East were so up-in-arms about:

--Also, as the kids get worse and worse, I find that the canned comments don't accurately express my true sentiments about them. So now I pretty much choose "Cooperative in Class" for every kid (or, in some instances, will speak in other codes. For instance, if they talk a lot, I'll put "is easily distracted" or "talks persistently"; if it's a kid that has no personality, I'll put "ability to work independently"). For some kids, though, my scornful feelings reach such fever pitch that I have a hard time even putting "cooperative in class" and have, sadly, had some kids for which none of the comments fit. (Again, this was NOT me. It couldn't have been. I was a delight!!)

Thus, for this blog, I will list the comments I'd like to see added to the canned comment list, as an accurate reflection of what we really want to say to these parents. Here they are, in no particular order:

* Concerned your kid is automaton, as she just sits there emotionless for an entire 90 minutes, staring into the abyss, never volunteering to speak or do anything.

* Seems smarter than she actually is.

* Has a massive chip on her shoulder.

* Too smart for her own good and refuses to play the school 'game' such that she'll never live up to her true potential here.

* Has no business being in Honors.

* A complete and utter jerk in all ways. Although academically ok, your child has no other redeeming qualities.

* Lazy.

* Shy isn't cute in 11th grade; it's annoying. Must learn to advocate for himself instead of having Mommy do it.

* One of the few students I can abide this semester!

* Two words come to mind: brown AND nose.

* Dunderhead.

* Complainer.

* Gimme an A. I. R. H. E. A. D. What's that spell? Your kid!

* There is such a thing as too loud in oral presentations. We shouldn't need earplugs.

* Att-i-tude!

* Nowhere near as good as her sibling. Are you sure they're related?

* I won't even remember her name next semester if I see her in the hall.

* Asked too many questions and took too long to ask them. The bell means it's time to leave!

* Has no business being in Academic.

* Rat-like.

* Lazy asshole.

* Just as bad as his sibling. Don't you know how to raise kids?

* Sneaky, complaining, jerkoff.

* Frightfully dim.

* Dresses like a street walker.

* Whiny, simpering grade-grubber with an unrealistically high perception of own ability level.

* One of the most annoying students I've had the displeasure of being locked in a room with for an extended time.

* Rude, beligerent, argumentative fuck.

* Tactless.

* Weirdest kid I've ever met.

* Am concerned that your kid is going to come in one day and open fire on the school. (Wish I was kidding.)

* I didn't realize one person could have this many problems.

* Your daughter is royalty. (The Queen of Drama)

* Liar and cheater.

* Unable to think for himself.

* I hear the trash company is hiring...

* Utterly loathsome in all imaginable ways.

* I called out sick a couple of days just to avoid your son.

* There's no other way to say this: I hate your kid.

These comments, I think, would serve me well when filling out the cards. Only, I don't think parents want to hear these truths.

Thus, the old addage... if you don't have anything nice to say...

...say "cooperative in class."